Thoughts on Tap: 002
on losing your looks, signaling politics through dress and not living for men
Have you ever made an ‘everything but the kitchen sink’ kinda meal that involved using up as many ingredients in your fridge as possible? (If you haven’t, you’re better than most of us). That’s basically what ‘Thoughts on Tap’ is- a stream of consciousness, anything goes type of experience that can be inspired by a number of things. This is a hot take, but I think a person who consumes nothing but fashion content is greatly stifling their creativity. So while that is what we love, it is not all that we are.
So……let’s talk about some things!
The latest docket includes:
Thoughts on ‘The Substance’
Signaling politics through dress
A quick review of the book that inspired the 4B movement
So…..I finally watched ‘The Substance’. Did I get the point?
Thoughts:
The night of the elections I decided to take myself to see a movie to take the edge off and do a series of things that evening that would tire me out so I could wake up to the fate of this country without spending the whole night agonizing. Although like many others, I did randomly get up during the witching hour. (I guess on some level, we all knew something felt ‘off’.) I was choosing between watching a psychological thriller and…..The Substance. I couldn’t even tell you how this movie crossed my radar. I am the furthest thing from a movie buff; I have seen a whopping 3 movies thus far for the calendar year. And compared to my usual track record, I’m on a roll. But I swear I saw a TikTok video talking about this movie and like so many other voices on the internet, the creator immediately launched into a tirade about what could have made it better. I don’t know about you all, but I’m trying to spend more time finding things to like in the world these days. So, in some weird way I think I went to go see it because the bashing intrigued me.
The internet is a harsh place. To be frank I think part of the reason for all the nostalgia online is because we didn’t spend all our time picking things apart back then and it shows. (The never-ending discourse from young people watching Sex and the City for the first time is proof that harping on every little thing is alive and well lol). That said, I saw The Substance and…..I liked it! Visually, it was shot so well. And Demi Moore surprised me with her acting. But beyond that….there were an equal amount of subtle and overt cues regarding ageism and vanity. Demi Moore goes to extreme lengths to stay beautiful and that theme is NOT subtle. But the way every man around her is decrepit AT BEST and feels so comfortable telling a truly gorgeous woman that she’s ‘lost it’ (whatever it is- the gaze of men whose skin now resembles leather I guess?) made me think a lot. It’s very obvious we live in a world where beauty is currency but the silent part of that is that [FEMALE] beauty is currency. It made me wonder….what needs to happen on a large scale for women to become as blissfully unaware of letting themselves go as men are? Money is not the answer because Demi Moore’s character was materially successful. But for the first time in her life, she wasn’t the most beautiful person in the room and her life spiraled out of control because she couldn’t handle the reality of that. It made me feel bad for any woman who saw herself in that film. If that’s you, I hope you find something you like about yourself that is not attached to a particular moment in time.
How will you dress in America in 2025 and beyond?
Thoughts:
So…..the presidential election happened. And even though I have several reasons to believe someone cheated, I am what I like to call an optimistic realist; what that means to me is that I have a contingency plan for my greatest dream and my worst nightmare. As of today, my worst nightmare happened. And because clothing is political if so desired (and it certainly is in this election where political merch was more important than ever), that means I want to find ways to incorporate my values into the way I look. There’s currently an amazing conversation happening on my TikTok right now about the ways we all plan to signal where we stand in a very divided country. I think most people will opt for more subtle markers and things that they can wear essentially every day which to me means accessories, makeup, jewelry, etc. Here are some of my favorite signals that folks have discussed on my socials thus far:
-blue nails
-blue hair bows
-blue jewelry
-blue eyewear
-man repeller chic
-embracing androgyny
-modesty, no showing excess skin
-grunge, tomboy chic (channeling a rebellious youth for some)
-shoes that they can run/fight in (combat boots, sneakers, etc)
-enamel pins that show your beliefs (RBG pin for example)
-red lips
-hyper femininity as an act of defiance
Personally, I will be leaning into androgyny and (surprise, said no one ever) leaning into menswear. I see these next few years with me potentially leaning into my teenage attire when my objective was to look as unapproachable as possible. I mean, the proof is in the pudding folks. I used to walk around with a sweatshirt that said ‘Please D*e’ on it. This is at the same time that half my head was shaved, I had numerous facial piercings (all since removed) and had little tolerance for foolishness. And while I have softened emotionally and aesthetically, it may be time to harness that energy again.
This book laid the groundwork for the 4B movement in Korea and you can read it in one afternoon
Thoughts:
I finally got around to reading the book that inspired an entire feminist movement in Korea and I was surprised at how short it was. This isn’t a bad thing….I just assumed that a book that moves people to action and seems politically charged would be….unnecessarily long. But that was not the case with ‘Kim Ji-young, Born 1982’, a novel by Cho Nam-ju. The author took only 2 months to write it, stating that she saw so many parallels between the main character and her own life that it didn’t take much effort to cobble together the story. The book shines a light on the main character’s life from birth to the birth of her own child and her quick descent into depression and psychosis. From birth, Kim Ji-young has always had to make sacrifices for the men in her life, whether they be platonic or romantic.
What is most powerful to me about the book is that there is no definitive, life defining moment where something horrible happens to make Kim Ji-young what she is. The book just takes you along for all of the subtle, everyday ways that women lose their own agency and how every moment is predicated on the idea that you will one day end up in the preordained boxes that have been made for someone like you for generations. The subtleties, the ‘million tiny paper cuts’ of life as a woman are what gets to you. It was an enlightening read…..and it doesn’t require a big lift to read it either. Maybe you’ll check it out some day.
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